The Silence Between Our Hearts
by MoreThanTonight
Summary: Hunter just wants Sebastian to say those three words.


Sebastian and Hunter were lying on their backs on Hunter's bed, their heads pressed together. Hunter was revising for an upcoming test while Sebastian was writing an email to his mother on his phone, only occasionally swearing to himself when his thumbs were too big to hit the right letter on his new phone that he was still getting used to. They both decided that the comfortable silence between them was a good sign in their relationship. That they were able to be around each other without having to constantly talk or kiss. Just being around each other was enough. It was nice. It was comfortable. It was easy.

It was comfortable, but Hunter wasn't content. He wasn't unhappy, per say, but there was something nagging him all the time. An itch beneath his skin he couldn't scratch. Something too far beyond his grasp to reach.

"Why don't you ever say you love me back?" he asked, piercing the silence in the room. Hunter's cheeks flooded with colour. Comfortable turned constricted as he held his breath, waiting for the pin to drop. Waiting for Sebastian's answer.

Sebastian didn't look up from his phone when he murmured back. "What did you say, babe?"

"Why don't you say you love me?" Only this time Hunter's voice was merely louder than a whisper, a faded imprint of the confidence he usually exuded.

The bed creaked as Sebastian shuffled a little further from Hunter so that he could see him better, his forehead creased in a confused frown. "What are you talking about?"

"You've never once said you love me," Hunter repeated slowly. His eyes bored into Sebastian's in a silent confrontation, steely and guarded.

"I do. I've told you that lots of times." Sebastian licked his lips, breaking eye contact for a few seconds.

"Tell me one time you told me you love me?"

Sebastian's eyes trailed to the wall where a picture of Hunter's cat was hanging, but not a word spilled from his tightly closed lips. In a way, it was all the confirmation Hunter needed. Silence could say a thousand words. Sometimes those words just weren't enough if they weren't what you longed to hear.

Wordlessly, Hunter tried to get out of bed to take a walk around school grounds to clear his mind, but Sebastian had a tight grip around his wrist. "Trent's birthday party. I told you then."

"It doesn't count when you're drunk, Bas," Hunter scoffed, laughing drily as he slapped Sebastian's hand away.

"So this is it, then? Five months and you're leaving because you're not hearing what you want to hear?"

"It is-… It is not about what I want to hear. It is about what I want you to feel. What I want us to feel. I want it to be as real for you as it is for me." Hunter's green eyes were filled with apologies as he leaned forward to kiss Sebastian's lips chastely before leaving the room.

The walk around the school didn't clear his mind. The run around the football field didn't stop his heart from hurting. The laps he swam didn't wash away the memory of Sebastian from his skin. A part of him hoped that when he returned to his room, Sebastian would be there and hug him, whispering soft words of love into his skin.

He returned to an empty room.

That night when he twisted and turned, waiting for sleep to catch up with him, he tried to pretend that Sebastian wasn't the reason he was still awake. If he could convince himself that he cared less, maybe it would stop the ache.

Just as Hunter was about to fall asleep, he heard the door open, revealing a dripping wet Sebastian with dark circles under his eyes.

"Can't sleep?" Hunter asked in a rough voice that hadn't been used in hours. Sebastian nodded silently. Maybe it was the easy routine they had been used to that made it so effortless, but Sebastian pulled off his wet clothes and slipped under Hunter's covers. They were so close, Sebastian's front pressed against Hunter's back. Skin against skin. Heartbeat against heartbeat, racing together in tandem.

Sebastian was the first to break the silence this time. "How do you say it?"

"You don't have to say it if you don't mean it," Hunter snapped, his shoulders tense, just seconds away from throwing Sebastian out of his bed. "Honestly, Seb! Don't. Just don't. Don't make this worse than it is."

"I mean.." Sebastian started, uncharacteristically meek. "If you mean it.. How do you say it and not be afraid that the other will break your heart?"

Hunter's breath hitched. "That's easy. You find the right guy. Someone you trust. Someone you love. Maybe you haven't found him yet, but you will. Someday you will, Sebastian. And he'll be the luckiest person on earth."

For a few moments the racing of their hearts was the only sound they both could hear.

"Hunter?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."


End file.
